I’m no stranger to fear.
Fear keeps me from doing a whole host of things I know I should. Saying hello to someone I’ve not seen in a while, doing a daily devotion…writing.
As much as I love writing, and as much as I wholly believe I’m created to write, it scares the poo out of me.
Why? I’m sure there’s a number of reasons below the surface, but the main thing is: the unknown.
What does it look like for me? Will I ever actually publish anything? Will it be good enough? What in the heck will I even write? What’s my direction? And of course there’s always going to be the tricky question of: am I really called to do this, or am I just making this up?! Was I bored one day and thought, hey! I’ll write! It all gets so twisted! So screwed up that I just throw my hands up in frustration, and don’t do it.
Well, I’ve had several times where I’ve heard God pull me to it, several times where despite this, I’ve still been too afraid. I’ve heard Him call me recently to write a book on how to be still in His presence, I’ve also felt him call me to Middle Grade and possibly Young Adult fiction. I’ve always pictured myself writing Contemporary Women’s Christian Fiction. Never pictured anything different, until I was sweeping one day. I felt Him almost say “This, my love.” And to that I stopped sweeping and said, “Okay.” This kind of reminded me of times in the Bible where He called and they answered. My answer this time is YES!
So that’s it…I’m jumping in.
My brother, one of our church’s temp speakers while we search for a new pastor said in the pulpit, “I pray you take a risk for the Gospel!”
That hit me square between the eyes! WHAM!
I’ve been letting this fear of the unknown take over my calling to simply obey my Savior’s voice.
That’s when I had the gumption to say yes. And I actually meant it this time.
So, without knowing everything I want to know, and in trusting His plan and guidance…
Here Goes Nothin!